solo in sydney


Deflated
February 15, 2010, 7:10 pm
Filed under: dear diary | Tags: ,

Valentine’s Day came and went and J didn’t say a word about it, not even a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ or an ‘I love you’. Nothing. He did however have a go at me for working on the weekend. My alternative was to sit on the couch while he watched cricket, so after his outburst, that’s exactly what I did. He didn’t even make eye contact with me, but I sat there for over an hour nonetheless. Eventually I asked if I could go back to work without him getting angry about it.

“Fine. Whatever. I’m going to bed anyway.”

He stormed off. I decided to let him cool down for 10 minutes or so, then I followed. I asked if he realised he hadn’t even said Happy Valentine’s Day to me, or even given me an indication that he cared (about me, not the day itself).

“Why should I? What have you done for me lately? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you get my anything?”

He has the infuriating ability to make everything my fault. He’ll find a way to trace every argument back to something I did or said, and if I even attempt to defend myself, it just goes around in circles.

C: I didn’t get you anything because I knew you wouldn’t get anything for me.
J: How did you know?
C: Well, you didn’t, did you?
J: No, but you didn’t get anything for me so what does it matter?
C: I said I didn’t get you anything, but I did make you something.

Minutes passed in silence before something occurred to me. Our anniversary. It was two weeks earlier and I’d only just remembered.

C: What do you think it means that we forgot our anniversary?
J: You forgot, I didn’t.
C: Why didn’t you say anything then?
J: You were busy.

If memory serves correctly, I was busy being yelled at. By J. About nothing.

Happy anniversary.

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6 Comments so far
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I’m sorry to hear that you had a bad day, J doesn’t sound reasonable at all. It must be taking a toll on you.

I’m thinking of you.

Comment by Ms Curious

Thank you Ms Curious, it is definitely taking its toll, my health has never been worse. I wish I had more energy to make a change but all the conflict is sapping me of what little I have!

Comment by soloinsydney

How awful. He sounds like he wants to make you at fault for everything so he can somehow absolve the blame of himself. Aw hun I hope you can extricate yourself from this situation soon. *hugs*

Comment by Esz

I can count on one hand how many times he’s taken responsibility for something, so apparently I’ve been very busy ruining everything for the past few years! I know how silly he is in blaming me for everything, but it’s still demoralising to hear it all the time.

Comment by soloinsydney

*hugs to you* it sounds like you had a tough day yesterday. Can I ask u a q? Why do u continue to stay in the relationship? I don’t mean this in a judgemental way – I’m just curious. (I know that you’ve mentioned due to past finance issues that you’ve had where he’s helped out in some way)

Comment by *misskitty*

misskitty, it’s a perfectly reasonable question and one I’m asking myself almost daily. I need to write a few more posts on our back story, but even then I think there aren’t any compelling reasons to put up with how things are now. I think I’m also hoping for an improvement, but I suspect I’ll be waiting a while.

Comment by soloinsydney




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